5/30/2008

Whatever You Want (Part 1 of X)

When Sean got home that evening, Carol was in the laundry nook taking the laundry out of the washer and transferring them into the dryer. She had already finished washing and drying the clothes for the day, but she decided that it was about time to change Molly’s sheets, pillow cases, and duvet cover to match the upcoming spring season.

Without saying a word, Sean took off his suit jacket and tossed it on the black leather couch in the living room. Looking around, it was a sight that he’s only slowly becoming familiar with: the black leather couch, of course, hand made and shipped from France; the creamy smooth off-white walls; the vaulted ceiling, and the large skylight that actually forms much of that ceiling; the stairs to the left leading up to the second floor, where Molly’s room and the master bedroom are located; the track lighting with adjustable ambient switches that line the entire apartment, exclusively from Oxford Lighting Systems; the open kitchen with a large island installed with pure white marble working surfaces, polished dark maple cabinets, and a commercial grade high-BTU quad-burner range from Viking; behind the kitchen is the pantry and the laundry, where Carol just closed the front door of the Kenmore Capacity Plus dryer with a satisfying thump, like shutting a vault when a bank closes at the end of the business day.

“You’re home early.” Carol said as she walked into the cooking area, and turned up the lighting.

“I suppose,” Sean said.

A slight smile formed on Carol’s thin lips. “Did something good happen?”

“We just closed a deal for one of our Chinese clients and everything got sent out just now. It’ll be the biggest cross-border capital raises for this year yet.”

“Shouldn’t you be celebrating with the other partners on your team, or take the associates out somewhere fancy and get them trashed?” Carol said. “You have been working on this deal for months.”

“Well, actually Bob is taking the associates out as we speak. You remember Bob right? We went to his house in East Hampton last summer for his annual barbecue party.”

Carol nodded.

Sean sat down at a stool next to the kitchen island, plopped his elbows on the marble surface, and rested his chin on his hands. Carol walked around to the other side of the island, and leaned against it.

“I remember I had to keep an eye on the chicken in the deep fryer while Bob played chef on the grill. You were out in the courtyard too I think, if my memory serves me right.” Sean said.

“I was sitting by the lap pool having a gin martini by myself.”

“I see. I thought you would be talking to the women at the party.”

“I wasn’t that comfortable with them...after all, I didn’t know any of them, and I am much younger than most of them anyway. I think they were comparing notes on hiring maids and drivers, that sort of thing. Maybe also private boarding schools.”

“Isn’t that something you would want to know? I mean, it was the perfect chance to get some first hand information on this kind of stuff. So I just think we need to take advantage of these networking opportunities. It’s not like every day you get invited by a senior partner to his private beach house, and it’s not like you can just call these people up anytime you want, you know?”

Carol leaned closer to Sean, smiled, and lightly pressed his nose with her right index finger. “But you know, you really can,” she said.

Sean looked away briefly, and stood up. “Do you still have any tomato juice around?”

“I’ll bring you some. Why don’t you get changed? Just make sure you don’t wake Molly up. It was really hard putting her to bed.”

“She’s already asleep?”

“It’s almost midnight, Sean.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize. I thought it was still early. I came straight home from work too.”

“You must be tired then. Go take a shower, and I’ll fix you something quick to eat. Would you like that?”

“That sounds good, sure. What do you have?”

“Whatever you want,” Carol said.

As Sean was standing in the shower, he was thinking about his day. It was the first time in months he came home early; in fact, it was the first time he came home before midnight since they moved into the current penthouse apartment on Madison Avenue near 88th Street. The apartment was brighter than he remembered, because whenever he got home the lights would have already been dimmed, and Carol and Molly asleep. He would usually go straight to the fridge to pour himself a glass of tomato juice, or if he had a particularly bad day, he would opt for a sip of bourbon instead. After that, he would go upstairs to the master suite, which was always empty because Carol had moved into Molly’s room so she wouldn’t be woken up by Sean when he gets home. He would take every piece of clothing off, shower quickly with scalding hot water, and then fall into the California king-sized bed, naked. If he was lucky, he would be in bed by 1:30 A.M.

Something just doesn’t feel right, Sean thought, as he leaned his head against the granite wall of the shower stall. Carol is probably heating up my chicken noodle soup downstairs. It’s been a while since I’ve actually seen her in person. Or had chicken noodle soup. Her cooking isn’t anything to boast about, but I really have no real complaints, either. Then again that’s not why I came home early. So why did I come home so early? Why am I not at the party? I could have been getting to know some of the junior associates better. Who knows, maybe I can find someone brilliant to mentor. It’s not easy to find someone good to work with these days; they just don’t work as hard as we did. I could have also been talking with Bob, who really champions me at the firm. I couldn’t have made partner without his lobbying and cajoling some of the other senior partners. What’ll he think of me now? Antisocial? But I can’t possibly go to every party and every dinner right? The thing is, after all, I was the real leader of the deal team. I called all the shots. Everyone reported to me. I was on top of things. I am on top of things. Bob’s got to be impressed with me this time around. What an old geezer he is sometimes. I’m going to use him, stay under his wings for a bit longer, and then take his place in the firm when the timing is right. It’ll be perfect.

There was a knock on the door. “Your soup is ready,” Carol’s voice seeped through the door and sounded as if they were softened by the steam that filled the bathroom. Sean got out of the shower, dried himself off, slipped on his navy blue bathrobe, and went downstairs.

(To be continued)

1/22/2008

Taiwan Journal Ep. 4: 是非題 / True or False

禮拜一下午離開了立法院, 我們一行人像行軍的從南京東路站走到位在敦化北路的理律事務所. 下午的天空還是灰色的.

路上, 我跟 Ripple 聊到兩岸關係的問題. 兩岸問題, 說穿了, 就是台灣統一還是獨立的問題--至少一般人應該是這樣想的. 如果是這樣的模式的話, 這個問題是一個選擇題, 甚至就是是非題.

是非題,是考試裡學生最喜歡的題目,因為非常好作答。會的同學,不用半秒鐘就可以寫完,甚至連問題都可以不用全部仔細看完。不會的同學,也可以瞎猜;反正有一半的機率會答對。把兩岸關係看成問答題的人,我想應該也是以同樣的心態來看待這個嚴肅的課題。有人會覺得他是專家或有權威對兩岸關係出意見,因為他覺得他就是會;不用把問題看完就可以作答。

不管專家學者怎麼去吵吧。不管政客怎麼去鬧吧。兩岸關係,就是一場關係,一段戀情。一道作文題。

作文題是要好好想過之後才寫的出來的吧。最重要的是,真正好的作文題是沒有正確答案的。而且,你今天覺得是對的答案,明天想過之後可能就又不一樣了。它就是一個問題,一個激發我們思考的東西;而思考的態度,才是問問題的目的。

台灣現在面對中國,是以什麼樣的態度呢? 中國又是以什麼樣的態度面對台灣呢? 大家應該自己有點想法。或許你覺得,中國蠻橫霸道,阻擋台灣加入世界衛生組織,連大地震人家要送台灣救人命的東西都要要求先通過北京的同意。或許你覺得,台灣人為了獨立分裂而連中國文化歷史都要否認,本來可以好好當一家人的感情都可以泯滅。或許你覺得,台灣幾百年來受外來的政權統治,只想要有一個揚眉吐氣的機會,為什麼就一定要接受一個中國原則,連這個都不能好好談嗎? 或許你覺得,中國已經釋出太多的善意,台灣理都不理,憑什麼要無條件的忍受這種不講理的孩子?

這些態度反應的都是︰我有理講不清,我受委屈,我被你欺負。我們很少去想到對方吧。

我認為,大家如果可以好好想想,其實兩岸關係可以跳出統ㄧ或是獨立的框架的。兩岸關係可以是台南長大的女生在北京留學,認識了上進的男生的初戀。可以是中國的登山家到了台灣才發現原來爬到山頂可以看到太平洋的美。可以是雙方的工程師一起發明出下一代的電腦處理晶片,變成全世界通用的規格。可以是在香港上班的律師早上到上海股票市場會面客戶,晚上回宜蘭的家跟孩子吃火鍋跟紅豆湯。

這樣的兩岸時代,真的一定就是要一個或兩個政府才能達成的嗎? 那我們對統一或是台獨的堅持,是不是跟吵翻天的情侶一樣,情緒上的怨氣大於雙方實際上的分歧?

走著走著,台灣突然感覺很不一樣。民生東路跟敦化北路交叉口一帶,是台北商業辦公重鎮。可是一邊看著無止盡的車輛在大樓玻璃窗上的倒影,一邊又感覺好像看到台灣的未來。這個未來,有讓人覺得可愛的地方,更有讓人憂心的地方。